THE JETHRO SCHOOL'S OF YOGA
(Theme Song: played to a country tune in c major)

(Chorus)

I went to six week yogi school,

Watch me twist and turn; oh those Hindus how they squirm,

when they hear that:

I went to six week yogi school,

and now I'm a certified ... fool.? (Oh well)

Pay me at the door, and I'll see ya'all next week for some more,

'cause I went to six week yogi school.

Well I don't really care where your at;

as long as I can sell you a new sticky mat.

Well I must be the real thing you know,

'cause I just put out my second video.

Sign-up; get your certifications, they are going fast.

Set-up your own web site, while they last.

You, too, can quickly be,

a certified Yogi.

George, David, Stephen and Larry,

frankly, what kind of names are these?

This is not Sanskirt, certainly,

can they be real Yogis?

Take off your shirt like Rodney Yee,

and you can get a guest spot on Oprah Winfrey.

Grow your hair long and look the part,

you can fool others who think your smart.

Or patent your Yoga

and rant with them all.

All this you can do,

when you have an Atomic ____(s)!

Steal Yoga from the Hindus, its all the rage.

Heck, they don't care and golly this is the New-Age.

We hate religion, can't you see

We're soooo pure and into spirituality.

Open your studio now.

Set up your fees and schedule--wow!

And don't forget your own web site.

Picture, bio--who cares about wrong or right?

'Cause you went to six week yogi school.

Well I'm a 200 hour yogi.

Certeeefied; an authority.

Yoga Alliance with the Satru.

In Sanskrit, its papa, that's true.

Even Jethro had the sense to listen to his Grannie

Now everybody wants to be an instant Yogi.

But they haven't got a clue you know, its all for money; all for show.

'Cause you went to six week yogi school.

I was a Christian or a Jew you see.

But I left all that and all responsibility.

Though I've never really been to a cave; I AM A YOGI, I'll rave.

'Cause I went to six week yogi school.

I love all my adoring fans.

They say I really stimulate their glands.

Show off my body that's the game--money, power and fame.

Gee wasn't that why I left the religious game?

Bikram, Iyengar and Jois, you see,

Are just a few of our New-Age Gurujis.

They tell us what we want to hear; leave out the facts and its so clear.

'Cause we went to six week yogi school.

We make reference to Patanjali.

(psss) He never really taught Hatha Yoga you see.

Saiva Hindu, celibacy and no money... ?

That is not OUR Patanjali.

At the turn of the century,

Swami Vivevakananda made the call--to stand tall.

Can you honestly believe that He would be a modern Yoga fan?

No! He would pray to the Divine Mother--make me a (real) man.

Well Svatmarama he is the recorded one.

But like all the rest he said "keep it secret" hon.

Bhaveda yavate guhya. Niveda tu praksanam.

What does it mean? What have I become?

Maybe I better give up all this non-sense.

And find another way to pay the rent.

Or maybe start all over again; become a Hindu.

And maybe even Ganesha's friend!