Welcome to the Hot New Exercise Fad: Communion
Alleluia! and welcome to Communion Exercises. Please pay your fee up front. I am your certified Communion instructor Abdul. Let us begin by chanting Amen. Now, let us first discuss our recent wine tasting. ... Next, we continue our exercises with Baptism ... ready; take a deep breath; hold your nose; tilt your head back; hold it ... and then lift your head and exhale. Next, everyone please stand up for the Stations of the Cross exercise. As we walk around the studio, pause and reflect on the life and death of Jesus. Now for some Genuflecting; watch your knees and bend and stretch (if need be, use your pew for balance). Let us end with the Amen chant.
Very good class! Since there are obviously some in the Christian religion who take issue with what we do, let me conclude by making absolutely sure that all of you know exactly what is Communion. Communion is not a religion it is a system of techniques for self development. There is a misconception that Communion, Baptism, Stations of the Cross and Genuflecting comes from the Christian religion which, of course, we know predate Christianity. Communion has nothing to do with religion and certainly not Christianity. In Communion, we welcome all religions. In fact, Communion teachers can be of any religion.
Remember that we offer a six-week course in Communion so that you too can become a certified Communion teacher and start your own business. Don't delay! Sign-up now! Space is limited! Watch also for our up-coming magazines Communion Journal and Communion International in which we will feature experts in the field of Communion.
Get the Picture? Simply change the word Communion to Yoga add all the Sanskrit terms and follow the same "logic."